Here are five crucial considerations when contemplating such a life-altering choice:
Remember it’s you getting the divorce – not your family, friends and children
Although this may seem an obvious factor, the key thing to remember here is that it’s you getting the divorce. You need to consider what’s best for you, longer term.
Often, we seek advice from friends and family – which is of great comfort in time of need. But remember, everyone has their own bias and ideas of what’s right / wrong and fair.
Your children matter but striving to maintain their current lifestyle might not be feasible. Focus on fostering a positive relationship with your spouse for the sake of your children’s well-being. Avoid speaking negatively about each other to maintain their positive connections with both parents. This will also enable you both to make informed financial decisions to ensure your children’s security and support in the future.
Don’t dwell on the reasons for getting a divorce
Family courts place little value on the reasons why a marriage broke down and who was responsible in most cases. Their priority is simply to validate that the marriage has broken down to a point where it cannot be saved and that it can be ended.
Reflecting on the reasons for why you are getting a divorce can hurt you more financially because you can end up in a long, drawn-out legal battle over who did what etc, when really all you are doing is delaying the finalisation of your divorce.
Remember your solicitor and any other hired professional, whilst sympathetic and wanting to support you, is not your counsellor and they will be recording their time spent discussing factors that may not support your case in court – and will charge you!
Bear in mind that the quicker you and your ex-partner come to a compromise over the reasons for divorce, the sooner you can both be free of your marriage and move on with your lives.
Separate emotion from expectation during a divorce
A divorce will entail numerous life-changing choices. With heightened anxiety and emotion, it’s easy to let this cloud judgements on decisions and some you could look back on with regret.
Often at Magenta we deal with cases where clients feel they “deserve more” – and in some cases this may well be the case. However, it’s vital to have a plan and to have set some goals that are reasonable that you’d like to get from your divorce – to ensure your security. as far as possible.
The easiest way to do this is to consult with a solicitor to get a better understanding of the probable conclusions in your case and to speak to a financial planner, like us, to help you build a financial forecast so you can feel reassured that the choices you make are best for you.
Consider everything for the divorce process and keep records
In times where assets are being divided, it’s easy to understand the house, contents, cars, etc. The non-tangibles, like mortgages and debts, future pension provision and savings and investments in your spouse’s name are harder to understand.
Creating an inventory and documenting is a massive help so, take photos of things you know are of value in the home (check it’s dated on your smartphone). Get copies of paperwork and bank balances. Create a list of all items and keep with all essential documents, in a safe place.
Some of this you may need to do before you flip the “I want a divorce” switch.
Look to the future
A crucial thing to keep in mind is to be forward-thinking in a time like this.
As hard as it is, dwelling on all the horrible things your partner did during your marriage, will sadly stop you from moving forward in the divorce process. Financially, you will have to pay the legal fees for longer, and being caught up with more minor factors may cause you to miss out on a fair deal regarding child custody.
Instead, put the past behind you and look to your future goals and priorities.
If you approach the divorce with a willingness to work with your spouse and prioritise essential factors such as when you get to see your children or living arrangements it will become an overall happier, quicker, and cheaper experience for you.
We’re here to help – if you would like to chat more about your personal circumstances, do get in touch to see how we can help
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