Money Mindfulness
One of the biggest stresses in our modern lives is money – whether we have too little or too much (yes it IS possible for some people to have too much!).
So many questions are asked about money- What to do with it? How to make more? Where to save it? How to pass it on? When to spend it or give it away? But these aren’t the most important questions. Perhaps the most important is “how can you use your money most effectively, to give yourself the life you want?“
People who have a lot of money (particularly if it came by way of a windfall) often feel a tremendous sense of guilt which can lead to them making decisions about their money with their heart rather than their head. The responsibility that comes with having money – what to do with it to be most effective; how to reduce tax; how to pass it on to the next generation etc etc can feel very onerous indeed.
A money coach or counsellor or adviser can help to clarify what we want to get out of life and provide objective guidance to allow us to make effective decisions about using our financial resources to secure our desired lifestyle.
We all have a series of beliefs around money, that have been passed down from our parents and grandparents, and your financial situation right now is a direct result of these beliefs that you have been carrying around in your head since childhood.
You can shed some light on your beliefs and attitudes about money by asking yourself some simple questions: what did your mother teach you about money? What did your father teach you about money? What’s your most painful financial experience? Your most joyful financial experience? What are your biggest financial fears?
By answering these questions and unlocking your family money history, you can start to understand why you think and act in certain ways about money.
I remember when I was a young child of 3 or 4, I had to hide behind the sofa from the rent man – this has had a profound influence on my life and has led to my always saving money to ensure my financial and physical security.
Our money stories are powerful – we all know wealthy people who won’t spend their money and people who splash the cash when they have no apparent means. When you properly understand the factors influencing your financial choices, you can begin to act with greater discernment.
If you find that you have difficulty tracking your money, you should put together a spending plan – simply listing what money comes in and what has to go out is essential to becoming financially well organised. Split your spending into savings, essential and discretionary and focus on what you really want to do.
But don’t beat yourself up – many of us feel intense shame and guilt about our money problems. That’s partly because of the taboo around talking about money, (we are more likely to talk to friends and family about our sex lives than we are about our money issues!) and partly because society often equates money with intelligence and our worth as human beings.
Talking to people about money issues will help to lift the veil of secrecy and give you a different perspective and some ideas about how to manage your money more efficiently to reduce stress.
You should never make significant financial decisions when going through a major life transition – death; divorce; moving house; new baby etc are times when we are at our most vulnerable and emotional. Big money decisions need rational, not emotional thinking and history shows that the biggest financial mistakes are made in times of change and stress.
Generally being mindful of what we want to get out of our lives and what financial resources we have available to invest in our life success is a great first step towards our future security and happiness.