On average, 1 in 9 people who work is a Carer for a friend or relative. This can put a great strain on someone’s health and can make them feel stressed and unhappy.
Here we share Jeff’s story:
Jeff is a carer for his mother – he works full time for an insurance company and his job means that he knows something about the care options and legal issues that need to be dealt with. He shares the caring with his sister who also works full time and they both have families of their own who demand their attention too.
When his mother remained in her own home, fiercely independent and determined that she could manage, it was his sister who dealt with all the “unpleasant tasks” – the incontinence issues, the laundry, the visits to the GP, the management of the Local Authority contracted carers and the District Nurse. Jeff dealt with the financial side of things as he had Power of Attorney over his mother’s financial affairs.
After his Mum’s 4th fall at home and her 4th night on the floor because she “didn’t want to bother people” by pressing the button she wore round her neck, Jeff and his sister knew they needed to take action. Thankfully, after her 4th stay in hospital, their Mum had frightened herself so much that she agreed that maybe she couldn’t manage at home any more.
This all happened 8 months ago and after a detailed search and many visits, they found a residential home where they were confident their Mum would be happy and well looked after.
All was going well – they sorted out the care home fees, the Attendance Allowance and the various extras provided by the home. Jeff’s Mum was expected to pay all her own fees as her funds were over the £30,000 limit in Wales. Jeff and his sister breathed a sigh of relief. All they needed to do now was to sell their Mum’s house and visit her as often as they could.
Then sadly, 2 months ago, Jeff’s Mum had a stroke, which has left her immobile and unable to speak very well.
Overnight everything changed – the lovely home was no longer able to accommodate Jeff’s Mum as her nursing needs were too severe and so after a month in hospital Jeff had to find somewhere else for her to live and be cared for.
He thought that his Mum would have to continue paying for her care, but we advised him to request an NHS Continuing Care Assessment. This assessment showed that his Mum had a Primary Healthcare need in several different areas, including mobility, cognition and medication control. This means that a significant proportion of her costs should now be covered by the NHS, but getting hold of this money is proving to be an uphill battle for Jeff.
As her Lasting Power of Attorney, the financial side of the carer’s responsibilities were now Jeff’s responsibility. He calls it “a burden” because he says it is a heavy load to deal with all the necessary administration while also still doing a full time, often stressful job.
Jeff still needs to manage his Mum’s finances to ensure he can pay her care fees for as long as she needs. He has found that dealing with the various financial Institutions: banks, investment companies, insurers and utility companies is extremely time consuming and has been very frustrated with their inefficiency and slow service. He has also had to deal with the Land Registry, the house clearance people, the Local Authority, the DWP and the NHS. He says “None of them make it easy”.
He is hoping that when the house is sold and everything is sorted out, all he will have to worry about is visiting his Mum.
Thankfully Jeff and his sister get on well and can talk to each other about their time pressures and work things out together. They know of other families who visit the home and seem to be “constantly arguing” about what to do next.
They now have everything organised and simplified for when their Mum does die and can just concentrate on spending as much time with her as they can.
If you would like to talk to us about any of the issues raised in Jeff’s story, please do not hesitate to call us for a chat on 01656 760670.